Keith Packman
The Sad Song Cycle
a recital by
Haley Hodson, harp
Keith Packman, tuba
Idea Concept
For some reason I regularly find myself in the late hours of the night listening to music alone in our kitchen.
What I find in these "kitchen sessions" is that I tend to lean more towards wanting to listen to very sad music. Music where the burdens of life are too much, music where the situation is not going to improve, music where the artist has lost hope. While these themes are all depressing, I do think it is important that in order to experience life we must experience these ideas and learn from them. While quietly standing in the kitchen and listening to the music I can find these emotions that I typically suppress and explore them in what I think is a healthy manner.
I devised this recital program in the fall of 2022 which was a particularly difficult time in my life. I found myself yearning to go back to the kitchen each night to listen to more sad songs and revel in those emotions; it was literally my therapy. The feeling of being surrounded by similar feelings to what I was going through in my life was comforting and through the sounds and the lyrics of these songs I was able to better understand how I was perceiving my own situations.
Because nearly all of these pieces are by non-classical musicians I knew that I'd have to arrange the songs myself. Since the setting that I wanted to go for was an idea of intimacy, mimicking my loneliness in the kitchen, I knew that I did not want this to be a loud recital. The perfect corresponding musician and instrument to perform with had to be my wife Haley and the harp. She knew best about these emotions that I was feeling, she had known the songs when I played them for her and she was the one to help me sort out my feelings as I was experiencing them.
Since performing these selections on string and wind instruments inherently remove the lyrics and their emotional potency, below are the lyrics for each of the songs, if they have lyrics. We invite you to read through these words and reflect upon their meaning to both the the artist who composed the words and to yourself. It's okay to feel sad every now and then.
PENNSYLVANIA
FURNACE
by Lingua Ignota
from the album SINNER GET READY
Me and the dog we die together
Within the Lord I cast off all my earthly bonds
There is victory in Jesus
Do you want to be in Hell with me?
I know you want to stop but you can't stop
I've watched you alone in the home where you live with your family
And all that I've learned is everything burns
Do you want to be in Hell with me?
I wish things could be any other way
I've watched you alone in the home where you live with your family
But one thing I've learned is everything burns
Above all others
I fear your voice
Above all others
I fear your name
Above all others
I fear your voice
Above all others
Me and the dog we die together
rises the moon
by Liana Flores
from the album recently
Days seem sometimes as if they'll never end
Sun digs its heels to taunt you
But after sunlit days one thing stays the same
Rises the moon
Days fade into a watercolor blur
Memories swim and haunt you
But look into the lake shimmering like smoke
Rises the moon
Oh close your weary eyes
I promise you that soon the autumn comes
To darken fading summer skies
Breathe
Days pull you down just like a sinking ship
Floating is getting harder
But tread the water, child, and know that meanwhile
Rises the moon
Days pull you up just like a daffodil
Uprooted from its garden
They'll tell you what you owe but know even so
Rises the moon
You'll be visited by sleep
I promise you that soon the autumn comes
To steal away each dream you keep
Breathe
Vedro con mio diletto
by Antonio Vivaldi
from the opera Il Giustino
libretto by Nicolò Beregan
Vedrò con mio diletto
L'alma dell'alma mia
Il core di questo cor
Pien di contento
E se dal caro oggetto
Lungi convien che sia
Sospirerò penando
Ogni momento
I will see with my pleasure
The soul of my soul
The core of this heart
Full of happiness
And if from the dear object
Far it must be
I will sigh in pain
every moment
DUI
by Thundercat
from the album Drunk
Sometimes you're alive
Sometimes you are dead inside
With the time to read between the lines of life and death
Sometimes it's okay
Sometimes it's the worst thing ever
Hopefully you won't get drunk and get a DUI
You will see that it's not so bad
There's always tomorrow
Bottom of the glass
At this point you've made an ass
And your friends will let you know tomorrow
I'm so tired
One more glass to go
Where this ends we'll never know
還ラナイ声
Voice of No Return
by 岡部啓一 Keiichi Okabe
from the video game NieR: Automata
Note: This song is sung in a fictional, futuristic language that serves as an amalgamation of all languages. While there is no way to translate these lyrics, this song plays at pivotal and emotional moments in this story about androids struggling to understand their purpose for existing.
Memory
by 菅野 よう子 Yoko Kanno
from the anime series Cowboy Bebop
Instrumental track
Goodbye
by Bo Burnham
from the film Inside
So long
Goodbye
I'll see you when I see you
You can pick the street
I'll meet you on the other side
So long
Goodbye
Do I really have to finish?
Do returns always diminish?
Did I say that right?
Does anybody want to joke
when no one's laughing in the background?
So this is how it ends
I promise to never go outside again
So long
Bye
I'm slowly losing power
Has it only been an hour?
No, that can't be right
So long
Goodbye
Hey, here's a fun idea:
how 'bout I sit on the couch
and I watch you next time?
I wanna hear you tell a joke
when no one's laughing in the background
So this is how it ends
I promise to never go outside again
Am I going crazy?
Would I even know?
Am I right back where I started fourteen years ago?
Wanna guess the ending
if it ever does
I swear to God that all I've ever wanted was
A little bit of everything
All of the time
A bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
I'm finished playing and I'm staying inside
If I wake up in a house that's full of smoke I'll panic
so call me up and tell me a joke
When I'm fully irrelevant and totally broken
dammit, call me up and tell me a joke
Oh shit
You're really joking at a time like this?
Well, well
look who's inside again
Went out to look for a reason to hide again
Well, well
buddy you've found it
Now come out with your hands up
we've got you surrounded